Assignment desk
says: "I need you there by 2 o'clock!"
Really
means: "It doesn't start 'til 2 thirty...but I need to start
covering my ass after missing the anchor's speech at that ladies luncheon
yesterday."
Assignment
desk says: "I need a quick VO."
Really
means: "There will be a ribbon cutting only AFTER... the
3 airbag political speeches...the two musical numbers by the school
kid's chorus...(one of 'em REEEALLY slow.)...the local businessman's
lame jokes...the timeout to repair the faulty PA system...WAY too much
tape shot...and a guaranteed three flights of stairs."
Assignment desk
says: " Are you still geared up?
Really
means: "You'll be watching the 2 AM SportsCenter highlights
tonight."
Assignment desk
says: " Could you possibly work this Saturday?
Really
means: "You will be working Saturdays for the rest of your
life."
Assignment desk
says: " What time did you come in today?"
Really
means: "You are about to set your personal record for hours
worked overtime without food, water, or piss breaks."
Assignment desk
says: " How long will it take you to get to...?
Really
means: "They are packing up the podium at the event."
Assignment desk
says: " How soon 'til you can go live!!??
Really
means: "Your shot is up."
Assignment desk
says: "Do you have plans for your vacation?
Really
means: "Cancel your vacation."
Assignment desk
says: "What's your ETA back to the station?"
Really
means: "I have reporters lined up like taxicabs hungrily
awaiting your arrival."
Assignment desk
says: "When your finished with that...SWING BY....."
Really
means: "You are about to take a very long drive."
Assignment desk says: "EXPEDITE!"
Really
means: "We want you to speed like a bat outta hell. But if
pulled over we will disavow any knowledge of your actions. And we won't
pay the ticket. No...you can't have the day off for a court appearance."
Assignment desk
says: " I need you heading SOUTH!"
Really
means: "I have no idea where I'm sending you."
Assignment desk
says: " Did you get a lunch break today?"
Really
means: "Unless you are presently sitting at the McDonald's
drive thru...your next meal will be tomorrow."
Assignment desk
says: " Can you come in a little early tomorrow?"
Really
means: "You will be making the acquaintance of "Tito"
and "Peanut" from the over-night cleaning crew."
You
guys also had some submissions.
Check out what YOUR "Assignment Desk
Really Means"
More Giggles:
What
the photog really means....
What
the reporter really means...
