The
Difference between
a Reporter and a Photog
by Tim Rutherford
A TV reporter and a photographer go into a bar. The bar owner recognizes
the TV reporter from the news and immediately strikes up a conversation
with him. The reporter is flattered by the attention but still takes
a second to introduce his photographer to the bar owner who gives
the photog a quick handshake and then turns his attention back to
the TV personality.
As he puts his arm around the shoulder of the reporter he begins to
tell him about the big party the bar is throwing for its anniversary.
This invitation-only party is gonna be huge. Lots of great food and
music...an open bar...a bevy of Hooters girls...and a special appearance
by the Super Bowl MVP and the reigning Miss Nude America. "Hey"...the
bar owner says to the reporter, "why don't you come to the party.
You'll have a great time! It's gonna be a great night! You'll have
a blast! And it's all on the house! Whaddaya say?"
The reporter is really tempted by the offer and finally agrees to
join the festivities on Saturday night. As
the reporter and the bar owner walk back towards the photog, the bar
owner realizes that he didn't invite the photog to the party. He approaches
the photog, leans in and whispers: "Would you like one of our
T-shirts?"
Now
Playing!
Funniest(x-rated)
line I ever heard by a photog!
We were pissed.
After months of ratings period stress and stalled contract talks...
our supervisor offered one overworked photog a primo out-of-town sports
shoot. Earl Torain replied: "Lemme
get this straight. You've had a 12 inch dick stuck up my ass for months.
Now you wanna pull it out a couple inches. I'm supposed to be happy
about that??"
Here's another:
From:
Doug Beach WYTV-TV Youngstown, OH
I
was working weekends at the NBC affiliate in Youngstown, Ohio, back
in the 3/4 inch days. About ten minutes to six, our producer got a
call from Engineering informing her that the last of her tape machines
had just gone down, and that she may or may not be able to run tapes
for the cast but that they would "let her know". She hung up the phone,
looked up at the ceiling and said:
"I wish I could find a man who could fuck me as well as this place
does!"
Send
me your funniest x-rated line!
Most
Common Things Said From Directors to Photogs:
10--What's this? Take black!!!!
9--Get the hell out of my control room and go shoot something!
8--Well, if we strobe the video I suppose nobody will notice how shakey
that shot was.
7--Some nat sound on this would've been swell. Do you remember how
to turn on your shotgun mic? Its the thing sticking out from the top
of your camera.
6--Quit flirting with the damned Reporter and STANDBYE!
5--No, (fill in name), that crotch shot doesn't qualify as "creative
photojournalism".
4--What the hell kind of shot is that?
3--Times and outcues...times and outcues...times and outcues. I didn't
shoot it. I don't know what the hell it is, and if I had shot it then
it wouldn't be BLUE!
2--Could you turn the television down, please? I'm trying to prepare
for a newscast.
1--Pan right. Your OTHER right!
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